biking rules

rules of the road – bicycle style

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Let me start by saying – I’m a biker. I bike to work. I bike to the grocery store. I bike to friend’s houses. I bike through the cemetery. I bike down bike lanes, down side streets, the right way, the wrong way, and all sorts of ways. I bike a lotta unnecessary places.

However, there are bikers that just give us a bad name. So I’ve decided that I need to give some lessons. No one is going to listen to me, but why would they start now? Please help a sista out. Add your ideas or comments.  I know I’ll keep updating this list.

So here we go… my How To Bike in the City of Chicago Rules:

  1. We all know that no one (biker or car driver) does the 3 second stop at stop signs, but for Christ’s sake, please stop at the stop sign if there are others approaching the stop sign. First, not everyone sees you just because you’re on your over-priced bike. If there are cars or bikes coming then please STOP at the damn stop sign. And follow the rules. I blow stop signs too, but it’s because I know no one is coming. Now please don’t become a statistic. Surprise someone. Stop at a stop sign.
  2. Stay on the RIGHT SIDE!!!! Don’t bike down the left side (yes, your left) because – guess what – you’re going to run into another biker trying to ride on the right side of the street with a stationary car on one side and a moving one on the other.This seems like commons sense, but apparently it isn’t.
  3. There are these things called pedestrians. You know – bipeds. You might want to watch out for them.
  4. When on the bike trail – say “on your left” to unexpecting bikers, walkers, bike renters (ugh), runners, (super annoying) rollerbladers, baby-jogger-doggie-walkers, elderly people, and anyone else. Because – guess what? They aren’t paying attention. Oh yeah – they don’t care about your obscure bicycle racing water resistant shirt w/ a pocket in the back. And also, there might be people coming in the opposite direction, so you might wanna look out for them too.
  5. Stay in the bike lane. When there’s a bike lane, 1) thank your lucky stars, and 2) stay in the damn bike lane. It’s there for a reason.
  6. SIGNAL. Yes – it’s true. No one knows the actual bike signs for left, right, stop etc.  But guess what? You have fingers. POINT! Just sayin.
  7. DON’T RIDE ON THE SIDEWALK, unless you’re 12.  Enough said.
  8. Wear a helmet. My daddy is an actual biker (the kind with motors) and I’ve seen way too many people leave their brains on the asphalt. So please wear a brain bucket. What’s the worst thing that can happen? Your brain lands in a nice bucket?
  9. Don’t be an idiot. That car/truck is way, way, way bigger than you are. Have some common sense – don’t dart in and out of cars like you’re a member of the Fantastic Four or possibly The Incredibles.

Okay. So I’m not saying that drivers know what the hell they’re doing because God, Allah, the Buddha or hopefully someone knows that they sure as hell don’t, but I’m saying brothers and sisters unite and don’t make us all look like a bunch of assholes. Have some common sense & respect others.  Believe me, I’ll rant shortly about all the drivers that need to go back to driving school and to those people – all I have to say is I can do some creative things with my bike bell. Don’t challenge me.